Have you ever had those days where you feel so
alone?And it seems like the people who you can count on, isn't there by your side anymore. You look your the east, there's nobody there, you look to the west, there's nobody there. That's when i cam to a realization, that people really don't care much about what's going on around them. We, don't give a damn, to who you are, or what you're doing, or what you're going through, except when you cross the line, pop my bubble, and will either serve as a threat, or affect my life. But honestly, nobody cares, it's all just small chitty chatty, trying not to be a loner, but frankly. I feel alone.
I seldom get this feeling, because i'm those weird people who enjoys their solitude. But today, i feel lonely. I came to realize that i have a lot of choices in my life. The moment i woke up, i made a choice to open my eyes, and welcome the new day. I made a choice, and how it goes, it's my choice. Sometimes, i don't think i'm wise enough to make the choice. I just made it subcontiously, without realizing that i've made a choice and to do whatever i want to do. I feel so lonely and out of the blue. I finnally got it, what if felt like to be lonely, and empty.
I looked at the people around me, some people are being so fake. Trying to strike up conversations, trying to be someone.
Maybe we're all trying to be someone. And i know that we're all two faces, everybody treats everybody differently. There's no fairness in this world, there's no unbiasness in this world. We're borned to judge, and be judge. No matter what we do, we are born to judge, because we're born to make a choice. And how do you make choices? You judge for the best choices that suits you, may it be spontaneously or thought through. You decide yourself, no one can force you to do something. You gave into the peer pressure and the reasons, and the fear of what people would think of you.
You choose to, you did it.These are the days where i just wish i was hanging out with someone i don't quite know, so that i can mask the insecurrities i felt. Maybe what my parents have told me was true, family last longer than friends. But nevertheless, friends play a huge role in my life. Not saying that I don't love my family, they're the ones who support me and will stick through my side through though and thin. They're the ones who would always, always be there for me. I love them. I owe it to them. But most importantly, I owe it to God, Lord, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He gave me the breath of life, even though I don't deserve it. They LOVE me, even though I don't understand love. It's even harder for me to understand God's love, since i cannot physically 'see' him. On the contarary, it's also true that sometimes, what you can't feel is stronger, because your eyes cannot contain what you're about to see. The love far too strong for you, you can do nothing but recieve it.
Thank you, for the people out there who love me. Thank you so much, for taking interest in me. I really appreaciate it.But just a reminder, life is more than this. Make it worth it, live for the only one who's worth it, trust in him, the lord God Almighty, believe that Jesus had washed away your sin, and you're a new man, let the HOly Spirit move you and take control of your life.
Give it all up, to what's it's worth.