




I'm raging inside. Why do you have to do this? Didn't i tell you i hate it? Can't you just respect my wills and wonts? OMG. This is so getting on my nerves. Do you know how it feels? To always have a camera watching over you, snapping pictures away, posting them up. I'm sick of trying to look good in front of the camera. People say photographs are used to capture the moment, keep memories. Too bad, i don't need one. Cause i have a darn good brain! Honestly, you don't know how much this hurts. I guess you'll never know cause you've never been hurt.
Get out! Get a life! Stop invading people's privacy! Respect others!
EDIT:
Sorry for accusing you just now. I guess i was just mad, a sudden urge. I'm sorry, i try not to jump into conclusion anymore. Thanks for listening. Thanks for giving it a thought. Stumble upon this sight. Has pretty photos. Check it out!
There's a softball game going on. I haven't told anyone, but deep down inside, I really want to go because you're organizing it and you're gonna be there. Yes, i'm secretly in love with you. Unfortunately, i don't have the courage to tell you. I wish i can get my friends to go, some of them will, some of them will know that something's going on. I really hope you can see the sparkle in my eyes, but too bad, i try my best to hide it and act normal around you.
It's so wierd. I wish we have classes next year, i wish i get to know you more, built our relationship. Haih. I wish i'm the one you're talking about in the note. My heart is with you, only you hold the key. OMG. I can't talk like this. This is not the right time. I promised myself i'm not going to awaken love untill the time is right. I have to backup right now, let go. LET GO. Pretend everything never happenned before, earased the sparkles in between the fire.
NOTE TO SELF: let it go, if it was meant to be, everything will be in place, when the time is right. JUST LET IT BE.
~gotta learn to let go~
I went to a dog show earlier in the afternoon. There were so many dogs, small-dogs, big-dogs, eskimo dogs, bull dogs. You name it, every kind was there. It's like a dog world. Aren't they lucky? I saw this beard collie, that looks really close to my dream dog: Old English Shepeard. I love it. It's big and fluffy, and supper smart too, but quite weighy and fat. How can you not love something like that? When i grow up, i want an Old English Shepeard dog, i want it from a puppy is the best, so i can see him grow into a huge monster :) It's so PRETTY. So far, i haven't even seen my dream dog yet, i haven't even got in contact or even petted an Old English Shepeard. Things are just so weird, i can love the dog without even knowing how it feels in reality, all i ever saw was just pictures. You can just type it in the google search bar to see how it looks like. If you ever know there are 'Old English Shepeard' dogs on sale, email me. Thank you.
Note to self, when in love:
~my love for you is like pi, infinate and irrational~
A Dance that'll make me forget everything.
A good scenary that will take me away from the reality.
I want to keep on living in my dreams.
Actually no, they aren't pretty dreams at all.
And i can't control my nightmares, nor what i will dream.


.it's black & white because i don't want you to judge by the color of the hair.
1st DAY of VOLUNTEERING:
Today was my first day voluntering for NBA3on3. I reached there early and signed in for my shift. Since i dont' have a preference, i was sent to 'special events' in Rogers' booth. after we introduce ourselves, our duty was assigned. There were people to help give out prizes, people who DJ the songs with the new phone, and people who rebound for the game in case the ball goes out.
It was early in the morning, everybody was quite drozy and in a dreamy state. The weather man forcast it to be sunny, but it turned out to be cloudy. I guess this was good for the ballers since the sun won't get into their eyes when they shoot. My hopes of being tanned from volunteering has just been washed down the drain. i wore shorts and i was freezing cold. My legs actually got cramped from the cold, and my hands were numb. i kept on dancing to the music that's playing and tried to move around as much as possible. But it didnt' change the condition until the sun came out in the afternoon.
My duty ws to get the rebound and keep track of the scores. It was an easy job but i just hope the people were friendlier :( Anyways. By this shooting game, i found out that older guys tend to give up sooner and younger guys tend to keep on shooting until they made shots. Older guys would just give up when they didn't get five in a row. The intensity then drops and they basically made a fool ou tof themselves; whereas the younger ones doesn't care and keep on hustling to ge the ball, and try their best to shoot. It was just shocking to know that teenagers give up more easily! Why? Is it because we know the truth or we just have low self-esteem? Or we don't want to embarass our selves? This is a very sad sight to see. So, don't ever, EVER give up. Just KEEP TRYING. who cares if you did embarass yourselves? You don't know anyone anyways!
2nd DAY of VOLUNTEERING:
I woke up this morning, puzzled about wether or not to go volunteer or should i go to church. I thought my dad wasn't going to sent me, but i woke him up and he did. I love him. My dad is wonderful. I'm great he's my dad. It was drizzling, again the sun wasn't out. It was a grey day.
I reached the tent same time as yesterday, actually maybe a little earlier, because i wanted to get the scorekeeping shift. I want to do the finals. When i get to the tent, the person who is in charge wasn't there yet! I was shocked! A volunteer came earlier than the one who gets paid by doing her job? This is so wrong. Anways. We checked in later and there was this guy who knew we wanted a different job. And the person in charge was his mom. So he kinda sided our ways, and tried to put us in the shift we want. Finally, we get court 2 in partners! YES!Thanks God for everything.
So me and my partner is so excited, let's just say we're over the moon. We get to score keep the center court. There's another couple who's experinced in score keeping court 1. So we asked them for advice, they explain everything to us, and let us know the 'Dosss' and 'Dontssss'. I was so excited. We take turns score keep, and i ended up doing both division 1! YAY! It doesn't matter that much to me, but division one is the pro-est players in the site. Okay, 'nough said.
I watched the game and learned a lot of stuff. People were really serious in games, and they play really hard. Some made up with their height, some take advantage of their shortness and make up with speed and agility. There was this guy who is really fast! When the ball is on his check, he's there, but when the ball passed to the key, he jumps and double team the opponent that recieves the ball. Later, if the ball get's out of the trap, He jumps back to his original check who is recieving the ball. He is damn FAST! There was also this guys who is a really good dribblers, he did lots of cuts and lay-ups. The most amazing part of all, is that people froze in the air for a rebound or for a shot. They release the ball when they're in their highest point and it's like a slow motion. It's just so pretty to see the ball go in, in that posture. EXCELLENT!
Score keeping was fun! Next time, i would like to come back to volunteer for score keeping! And check out those hot guys on the court, well it's more like their skills because most of them are OLD. LOL. At least 5 years older than me. But watching them play is just like a movie. Better. Becuase i keep track of the scores and the fouls. HEHE.
To sum it up : I HAD A REALLY FUN EXPERIENCE!
~freeze time~

I just found something really interesting. Isn't this ballet shoe really pretty? I think it is. I started to remember, my chilhood. I used to dance ballet, i wasn't that good at it because nothing motivates me and i don't quite undertand what's the point of doing it. Everything is just the way it is of how my parents wanted me too. I don't have a choice right? Maybe i do but i just didn't realise it till now. And it's a little too late, but not exactly late into the kind of situation where nothing could be done. Right now, at least i have a say and a chance of redemption, so it's not that bad.