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MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO LET YOUR WALLS DOWN
& LET LOVE SHINE
just for you

LOVE it, HATE it, It's all yours.

mistakes you knew,
i've made a few

~it's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance; it's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance; it'sthe mind afraid of losing never learns to give; it's the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

~i just can't see things working out the way i planned them in my head. so forget it, i'm running.

~sometimes you have to break the rules and stand apart ignore your head and follow your heart.

~acknowledge me or lose me forever.

~what we do doesn't define who we are, what defines us is how we rise after falling down.

~don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

~you're so unpredictable and i'm so typical. i tried to sell you a heart before you saw the world.

~sometimes i can't believe my eyes. i want to stare up and get lost in the city lights because i've had enough and this is the end and now i understand that a heart breaks, it does not bend

~how are we expected to live in a real world when more than hald of the people living in it are fake?

~ dreams are the only place to where everything seems to be perfect, nothing is out of reach and everything you want, you have

~things happened for a reason, tears eventually fade and one day everything will be exactly how its supposed to be; moving on is a process, you have to promise yourself you're really ready to let go.

~ im thinking its a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they perfectly alligned.

~guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will and outlive the bastards.

~there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

~liars can't tell lies apart because they believe that everyone is always lying, just like them. they never trust in others.

~when you are in love, you can't fell asleep because reality is better than your dreams.

~some people come into our lives and dissappear; while others stay for a while, make footprints and we'll never be the same again.

~it's not love that hurts.it's the infatuation with what we so blindly accept as love that hurts.true love should never have to hurt.

~sometimes it's easier to day i don't care than to explain all the reasons you do.

~maybe sometimes it's a good thing to stumble. because there's a better way to stand. maybe sometimes we cry. because laughter cannot hide the worst.

~fake a smile like nothing is wrong. talk like everything is perfect. act like it's all a dream. pretend none of this is hurting. just so maybe i'll actually start to believe the lies in between.

~you'll never know untill you try. you'll never try until it's too late.

~someone will always catch you when you fall. and it won't always be who you thought it would. the people you think love you most might watch you fall, wait, and then congratulate you when you find your own way back up. this doesn't mean they love you less. they just know that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

~i'd give it all, everything and anything, but i wouldn't give up just like that.

~the best you can do is do the right thing. the second best you can do is the wrong thing. and the worst you can do is nothing.

~fight for the things you love, love the things you're fighting for.

~i'm not the person i use to be, i admit, a lot of shit got to me.

~in my heart if someone tells me i can't do something, i'm gonna do it just to prove i can.

~be the best you can be, and the worst without being get caught.

~when you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~it's too late to walk away, because i've already stumble. and i'll keep falling, until i hit the ground-again.

~don't give up when you still wanna try. don't wipe your tears when you still wanna cry. don't stop asking questions if you still wanna know.

~the simplest things we tend to ignore are the simplest thing that matters so much more.

~only tears know how to remind us, we all break the same.

~i want to make a decision, but i forgotten how to chose.

~and here i go again. thinking about what i. could have done. would have done. should have done.

~living up to the expectations without cracking the pressure.

~how many times are you going to let someone say they'll never do it again before you realise they will.

~i've built a wall. not to block anyone out. but to see who loves me enough to climb over it.

~too often, the things you want are the thing you don't have. desire leaves us heartbroken and wears us out. but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are the people who don't know what they want.

~it's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.

~under my feeling. under my skin. under the thoughts from within. learning the subtext of the mind.

~find grace in in mistakes

~with love and grief in mind, not yet ready to give all in and crumble.

~when something unexpected comes, just pick it up and run.

~you closed you eyes. that's the difference. you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. it you're ever going to have other people to trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. even when in the dark. even when you're falling.

~did i make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

~simple dreams are the most painful because they seem so reasonable, so personal, so attainable. always close enough to touch but never close enough to hold.

~when you can lean on no one else, you'll find yourself.

~if you want what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done before.

~it's one thing to understand, but another to accept.

~staring up at the stars at night. i'm satisfied to know although we're million miles away, we sleep under the same sky.

~two stars blinking in the vast blue sky, shining and making signals, seem so close yet so far.

~sometimes you just have to run, and never turn back until you've reach where you want to be.

~just because you deserve it, doesn't mean they're gonna give it to you, you have to fight for it.

~if you don't understand silence, you don't deserve words.

~don't be so quick to judge, i only chose what to show.

~one of the hardest moments in life is deciding whether to give up or to try harder.

~when you have everything you ever wanted, that's when you have somthing to lose.

~you really shouldn't say i love you unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. people forget.

~what done is done, i can't change time. but i'll be damned if i'm not gonna try.

~the trouble is, if you don'to risk, you risk even more.

~you have to learn to push through your fatigue even when you're tired.

~there's a reason why you're gone this far, just be yourself.

~somethings are meant to be broken, imperfect, chaotic. it's just the way the universe provides contrast.

~screw it. or love it.

~we spend time telling ourselves that everything happens for a reason. when in reality we give reasons for everything that happens.

~something simple as words can have such a strong affect on feelings.

~never say sorry for saying what you feel. that's like apologizing for being real.

~sometimes you don't know you've crossed a line until you're already on the other side.

~eyes are the doorways to heart, where all the love resides.

~if you love someone, you would be willing to give up everything you have. but if they love you back, they'd never ask you to.

~torn between a world of hates and a world of dreams. so much to lose, so much to gain, so much to fight for, so much to change.

~optimism means expecting the best, confidence means handling the worst.

~i took a chance, took a shot. you might think i'm bullet proof, but i'm not.

~if you believe it's in my soul. i'd say all the words that i know. just to see if it would show. that i'm trying to let you know.

~and then i remember to relax and stop holding on to it. everything then flows through me like rain and i can't feel gratitude for every single moment of a stupid life.

~sometimes to move forward, you have to look back.

~the more you care the more you lose.

~broken into pieces but no one can see it. you won't believe, i have nothing left to lose.

~behind my smile is a hurting heart. behind a laughter i'm falling apart. who you see isn't who i really am.

~capture my feelings in a box. make it glass so the world can see. seal it up. do not touch. the vulnerability i behold is beyong my control.

~when life offers a dream so far beyond expectations, it's not resonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

~you bite your tongue and pretend that you're made of stone. you never let it show, but honey, everybody knows.

~give up what you can't keep to gain what you can't lose.

~if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

~dance to no music, love without fear.

~love does things for reasons that reasons cannot understand.

~if it is true love, fight as hell for it because it's worth it.

~seduction is destruction, love is a function, sex is a succession. put your powers to seduce the showstoppers and make them the jawdroppers, gear into love without being a disfunctional relationship, and get down dirty if you reach the right level of feeling cause sex is no reduction even in this recession.

~there is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.

~don't worry about not falling in love, in fairytales, they fall in love in the last page.

~almost lovers always brings heartahce.

~if you don't go after what you want you'll never have it. But sometimes, what you want is not what you need, and what you need may not be what you want.


knock yourself out.

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011

thank you.


library


Apparently in my life, things tend to happen spontaneously miraculously for the better. It was a week ago, i really needed to see you one more time. I cannot bear without saying a proper goodbye, and i couldn't believe the fact that i won't see you anymore.

Somehow, in my mind, you're always there, always present. I think our human's mind are deceptive. We can somehow manipulate ourselves into falling for someone uncontroallably, thinking that this is the undeniable unconditional love that everyone had always dreamt of. Fo' real, what are we fucking thinking? I haven't even live half of my life, yet i can feel this is so real. And it's all coming back to me, not that i ever had it before.

The day was still clear. It was only an hour, yet time didn't fly past. Let's just conclude that I was glad to see you, and i hope you are too. So we were set to meet at the library, and walk to the volunteering orientation later on. I was walking and i kinda stalled time subcontiously. Com'on, the sun was out, and the weather was hot, and i gotta flaunt my red shorts!

When i reached there, I saw you immediately, burried your head in the books already. Nevertheless, i decided to walk to the back of the library, hoping you never saw me. And you never did. I got ready myself, glance at a computer to make sure i'm in okay condition. And I walked over to return my library books. Just then, I saw you coming out of the stacks of books, and walked to the front door. As if, you're looking out for someone. Awww, how could it possibly be anyone else? When i specifically told you I'll be there? I quickly turn my head back, knowing the you're checking my out (as i'm checking my books out), my heart skipped a beat, and i'm pretending none of this ever happenned, and act cool.

You came over, and gosh was it good to see you and have you close to me. I finished checking out my books and we plopped down by the chairs and started chatting. You told me about stuff and plans and i begged you once again to go to camp. Actually more than once, and you said you would if there was some incentives to it. Little did you know, that I have to practically knock myself out to not land a deal with the you! Oh, the things you do to me. fuckmylife. And you said that even if you did feel me up, you wouldn't feel a thing for me. OUCH! I hate myself for keeping such a cool face and take everything as a joke. Well, honestly, I can't break that news to my heart, I wouldn't survive. And you leave me everyday debating whether it's worth it to believe in lies, or accept the real brutal truth. Ain't it your pleasure to confuse me?

You kept on complementing me. I'm sorry, I don't take complements well. Aside from saying
thank you, I couldn't look you in the eye. Somehow, I'm scared. Cause everytime I look you in the eye, I have no idea what will happen. I'll lose control, and you'll blow my mind away with my rational! If only you knew, how much I have to pretend. I'm sick of it faking it and wearing a mask.

During the walk, we still chatted. It's like we never run out of things to talk. Even if we did, i'm pretty sure the silence in between us are comfortable. You kept on repeating that what if you picked my up, and then dropped me, and you fell on top of me. I looked at you, amazed that you actually said that out loud! And repeated it like a gazillion times asking what will i do?! Well, for goodness sake, what do you expect me to say!? Deep down, I would stare into your eyes and kiss you, cause that's what movies told me. I'm not a little girl anymore, I've learnt that those perfect lovey-dovey moments only happens in movies. When everything is scripted and well planned, and took a whole day to shoot that passionate amazingly stunning breath-taking scene! So inside my head, I was just running in circles, coming up with stupid replies, that probably scared you away.

Later on. You didn't even sign up for the volunteering hours together. Not that you have anything better to do. But you decided to sign up with this girl. So you are hitting on girls! I have a very strong feeling, that you're just keeping your options open, until you find the right one. Flirting and trying to get as many girls on your boat as possible, and then pick the best out of the lot, and dump the rest, cause it don't matter as long as you have the best one. JERK! But that is a good plan. I feel stupid for myself to fall for this plan, and i have a feeling, that I cannot compete with the girls on the boat. That's why, I don't know what to do! I'm scared, scared to jump on board! Cause this is one boat with no life jackets on, i'll only sink and hit rock bottom. Well, I hope that there's a treasure down there, deep deep down in the ocean. And that'll be my back up plan!


OMG. WTF HAVE I BEEN TALKING ABOUT?! THESE THOUGHTS ARE FUCKING USELESS! I CAN"T AWAKEN LOVE UNTILL IT"S TIME, AND CLEARLY NOW ISN"T! FUCK! SHUTUP AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE. PRAY, AND MAKE LIFE WORTH!

~lovegame~


11:50 PM Sunday, June 28, 2009