
I thought it was deal this way, i thought you told us we're going to be a group. We're fine with each other, we want to work together. We're prepared. But somehow, it all feel so unreal. I put my doubtings away, and try my best to believe in, believe that we're working as a group.
But then, when i stepped into the room for the first meeting.
It wasn't what i expected. The people in front of my eyes, the atmosphere, you as the teacher. There were a number of us, and only few of us get to put our names to be registered. I didn't expect much. It wouldn't be fair, if you let first come first serve, because some people recieved the news late and expressed interest right away.
It wouldn't be fair, if you drew names out of the hat, that's too random. We're all strangers, staring into each other, looking at this unresolve problem, thinking about our selfish desires. You said to pick names out of the hat, this is too random.
What if she wasn't picked? Am i still doing it? What if she was picked and i wasn't? She won't do it. The names are drawn from the hat. Reading it aloud, i wasn't expecting my name to be called, but it was.
As usual, those who want it don't get it, those who couldn't care less, got it. How is this fair? I stepped up, told them to take my name out because i wouldn't do it. Glances are shot across the room. You gave me an unimpressed look, how can i be so reliable? I have to depend on my friends. Well the truth is, i don't even want to do this. This is just too much, i have too much stuff going on. Thanks a lot. Shoting that firery glance at me. I guess you have a different opinion of me.
Guess what? I don't give a damn. I don't. I'm sorry for those out there who spent time on me, just to let you know early, i'm a
waste. I'm not worth it. I always ended up dissapointing you, forget me, live your life, spend your time wisely,
but love me if you can, love me. How i wish i really could not give a damn to what happen. But how could i? You made me look like a
bitch in front of other people. They're too nice, too good to be true. This is my first time being so mad, i was
frammed. People are pursuaing you, begging you to let them in, and suddenly, they're letting their spot for us, giving us the name. What is this? I don't want to work with people with faces. Gosh, show who you are!
Don't hide it! How long are you going to hide for? Will the people around you like you for
who you pretend? Or
who you really are deep inside? Think about it. Or maybe, i'm just mad because i was frammed. I don't know. I'm crazy, this is driving me nuts. You aren't that innocent at all, that's all i know. Thanks a lot, i'm facing a dead end, nothing can help mend my reputation.
Why do i care? I should
outlive them!
Forgive and forget. I'll pray. I need guidance.
~frammed as a bitch~