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MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO LET YOUR WALLS DOWN
& LET LOVE SHINE
just for you

LOVE it, HATE it, It's all yours.

mistakes you knew,
i've made a few

~it's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance; it's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance; it'sthe mind afraid of losing never learns to give; it's the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

~i just can't see things working out the way i planned them in my head. so forget it, i'm running.

~sometimes you have to break the rules and stand apart ignore your head and follow your heart.

~acknowledge me or lose me forever.

~what we do doesn't define who we are, what defines us is how we rise after falling down.

~don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

~you're so unpredictable and i'm so typical. i tried to sell you a heart before you saw the world.

~sometimes i can't believe my eyes. i want to stare up and get lost in the city lights because i've had enough and this is the end and now i understand that a heart breaks, it does not bend

~how are we expected to live in a real world when more than hald of the people living in it are fake?

~ dreams are the only place to where everything seems to be perfect, nothing is out of reach and everything you want, you have

~things happened for a reason, tears eventually fade and one day everything will be exactly how its supposed to be; moving on is a process, you have to promise yourself you're really ready to let go.

~ im thinking its a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they perfectly alligned.

~guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will and outlive the bastards.

~there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

~liars can't tell lies apart because they believe that everyone is always lying, just like them. they never trust in others.

~when you are in love, you can't fell asleep because reality is better than your dreams.

~some people come into our lives and dissappear; while others stay for a while, make footprints and we'll never be the same again.

~it's not love that hurts.it's the infatuation with what we so blindly accept as love that hurts.true love should never have to hurt.

~sometimes it's easier to day i don't care than to explain all the reasons you do.

~maybe sometimes it's a good thing to stumble. because there's a better way to stand. maybe sometimes we cry. because laughter cannot hide the worst.

~fake a smile like nothing is wrong. talk like everything is perfect. act like it's all a dream. pretend none of this is hurting. just so maybe i'll actually start to believe the lies in between.

~you'll never know untill you try. you'll never try until it's too late.

~someone will always catch you when you fall. and it won't always be who you thought it would. the people you think love you most might watch you fall, wait, and then congratulate you when you find your own way back up. this doesn't mean they love you less. they just know that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

~i'd give it all, everything and anything, but i wouldn't give up just like that.

~the best you can do is do the right thing. the second best you can do is the wrong thing. and the worst you can do is nothing.

~fight for the things you love, love the things you're fighting for.

~i'm not the person i use to be, i admit, a lot of shit got to me.

~in my heart if someone tells me i can't do something, i'm gonna do it just to prove i can.

~be the best you can be, and the worst without being get caught.

~when you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~it's too late to walk away, because i've already stumble. and i'll keep falling, until i hit the ground-again.

~don't give up when you still wanna try. don't wipe your tears when you still wanna cry. don't stop asking questions if you still wanna know.

~the simplest things we tend to ignore are the simplest thing that matters so much more.

~only tears know how to remind us, we all break the same.

~i want to make a decision, but i forgotten how to chose.

~and here i go again. thinking about what i. could have done. would have done. should have done.

~living up to the expectations without cracking the pressure.

~how many times are you going to let someone say they'll never do it again before you realise they will.

~i've built a wall. not to block anyone out. but to see who loves me enough to climb over it.

~too often, the things you want are the thing you don't have. desire leaves us heartbroken and wears us out. but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are the people who don't know what they want.

~it's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.

~under my feeling. under my skin. under the thoughts from within. learning the subtext of the mind.

~find grace in in mistakes

~with love and grief in mind, not yet ready to give all in and crumble.

~when something unexpected comes, just pick it up and run.

~you closed you eyes. that's the difference. you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. it you're ever going to have other people to trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. even when in the dark. even when you're falling.

~did i make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

~simple dreams are the most painful because they seem so reasonable, so personal, so attainable. always close enough to touch but never close enough to hold.

~when you can lean on no one else, you'll find yourself.

~if you want what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done before.

~it's one thing to understand, but another to accept.

~staring up at the stars at night. i'm satisfied to know although we're million miles away, we sleep under the same sky.

~two stars blinking in the vast blue sky, shining and making signals, seem so close yet so far.

~sometimes you just have to run, and never turn back until you've reach where you want to be.

~just because you deserve it, doesn't mean they're gonna give it to you, you have to fight for it.

~if you don't understand silence, you don't deserve words.

~don't be so quick to judge, i only chose what to show.

~one of the hardest moments in life is deciding whether to give up or to try harder.

~when you have everything you ever wanted, that's when you have somthing to lose.

~you really shouldn't say i love you unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. people forget.

~what done is done, i can't change time. but i'll be damned if i'm not gonna try.

~the trouble is, if you don'to risk, you risk even more.

~you have to learn to push through your fatigue even when you're tired.

~there's a reason why you're gone this far, just be yourself.

~somethings are meant to be broken, imperfect, chaotic. it's just the way the universe provides contrast.

~screw it. or love it.

~we spend time telling ourselves that everything happens for a reason. when in reality we give reasons for everything that happens.

~something simple as words can have such a strong affect on feelings.

~never say sorry for saying what you feel. that's like apologizing for being real.

~sometimes you don't know you've crossed a line until you're already on the other side.

~eyes are the doorways to heart, where all the love resides.

~if you love someone, you would be willing to give up everything you have. but if they love you back, they'd never ask you to.

~torn between a world of hates and a world of dreams. so much to lose, so much to gain, so much to fight for, so much to change.

~optimism means expecting the best, confidence means handling the worst.

~i took a chance, took a shot. you might think i'm bullet proof, but i'm not.

~if you believe it's in my soul. i'd say all the words that i know. just to see if it would show. that i'm trying to let you know.

~and then i remember to relax and stop holding on to it. everything then flows through me like rain and i can't feel gratitude for every single moment of a stupid life.

~sometimes to move forward, you have to look back.

~the more you care the more you lose.

~broken into pieces but no one can see it. you won't believe, i have nothing left to lose.

~behind my smile is a hurting heart. behind a laughter i'm falling apart. who you see isn't who i really am.

~capture my feelings in a box. make it glass so the world can see. seal it up. do not touch. the vulnerability i behold is beyong my control.

~when life offers a dream so far beyond expectations, it's not resonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

~you bite your tongue and pretend that you're made of stone. you never let it show, but honey, everybody knows.

~give up what you can't keep to gain what you can't lose.

~if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

~dance to no music, love without fear.

~love does things for reasons that reasons cannot understand.

~if it is true love, fight as hell for it because it's worth it.

~seduction is destruction, love is a function, sex is a succession. put your powers to seduce the showstoppers and make them the jawdroppers, gear into love without being a disfunctional relationship, and get down dirty if you reach the right level of feeling cause sex is no reduction even in this recession.

~there is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.

~don't worry about not falling in love, in fairytales, they fall in love in the last page.

~almost lovers always brings heartahce.

~if you don't go after what you want you'll never have it. But sometimes, what you want is not what you need, and what you need may not be what you want.


knock yourself out.

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011

thank you.


MIX

Random Thoughts:

  • I was so excited. I was standing there all day long, although my hair looked crappy and messed up, i don't care. I had a great time. Our views are so opposite, i even wonder how the heck did we get together? Friends? Best friends? I guess so. We're climbing onto each other's nerves right now.

  • I drank only gatorade and ate lots of cheese strings. Nothing particular excited, but met quite a few unexpected people. I wasn't expecting to even bumping into somebody. Everything is okay, glad that i had this opportunity to help out. Made some friends.

  • I'm so cold right now, and i though it's suppose to be COOLER. And the weather man is wrong again, it was cloudy today, good for the ballers so the sun doesn't get into his eyes. Mostly were younger guys. Heard news from you. I'm not thinking about a plan. I'm handing it to God.

  • I need to pee. Drank more than two literes of gatorade without excersicing, or even sweating because of the weather.


  • Can't wait for the BBQ at your house. I'm already thinking what to wear when it's like a month away. Haih.



1st DAY of VOLUNTEERING:

Today was my first day voluntering for NBA3on3. I reached there early and signed in for my shift. Since i dont' have a preference, i was sent to 'special events' in Rogers' booth. after we introduce ourselves, our duty was assigned. There were people to help give out prizes, people who DJ the songs with the new phone, and people who rebound for the game in case the ball goes out.

It was early in the morning, everybody was quite drozy and in a dreamy state. The weather man forcast it to be sunny, but it turned out to be cloudy. I guess this was good for the ballers since the sun won't get into their eyes when they shoot. My hopes of being tanned from volunteering has just been washed down the drain. i wore shorts and i was freezing cold. My legs actually got cramped from the cold, and my hands were numb. i kept on dancing to the music that's playing and tried to move around as much as possible. But it didnt' change the condition until the sun came out in the afternoon.

My duty ws to get the rebound and keep track of the scores. It was an easy job but i just hope the people were friendlier :( Anyways. By this shooting game, i found out that older guys tend to give up sooner and younger guys tend to keep on shooting until they made shots. Older guys would just give up when they didn't get five in a row. The intensity then drops and they basically made a fool ou tof themselves; whereas the younger ones doesn't care and keep on hustling to ge the ball, and try their best to shoot. It was just shocking to know that teenagers give up more easily! Why? Is it because we know the truth or we just have low self-esteem? Or we don't want to embarass our selves? This is a very sad sight to see. So, don't ever, EVER give up. Just KEEP TRYING. who cares if you did embarass yourselves? You don't know anyone anyways!



2nd DAY of VOLUNTEERING:

I woke up this morning, puzzled about wether or not to go volunteer or should i go to church. I thought my dad wasn't going to sent me, but i woke him up and he did. I love him. My dad is wonderful. I'm great he's my dad. It was drizzling, again the sun wasn't out. It was a grey day.

I reached the tent same time as yesterday, actually maybe a little earlier, because i wanted to get the scorekeeping shift. I want to do the finals. When i get to the tent, the person who is in charge wasn't there yet! I was shocked! A volunteer came earlier than the one who gets paid by doing her job? This is so wrong. Anways. We checked in later and there was this guy who knew we wanted a different job. And the person in charge was his mom. So he kinda sided our ways, and tried to put us in the shift we want. Finally, we get court 2 in partners! YES!Thanks God for everything.

So me and my partner is so excited, let's just say we're over the moon. We get to score keep the center court. There's another couple who's experinced in score keeping court 1. So we asked them for advice, they explain everything to us, and let us know the 'Dosss' and 'Dontssss'. I was so excited. We take turns score keep, and i ended up doing both division 1! YAY! It doesn't matter that much to me, but division one is the pro-est players in the site. Okay, 'nough said.

I watched the game and learned a lot of stuff. People were really serious in games, and they play really hard. Some made up with their height, some take advantage of their shortness and make up with speed and agility. There was this guy who is really fast! When the ball is on his check, he's there, but when the ball passed to the key, he jumps and double team the opponent that recieves the ball. Later, if the ball get's out of the trap, He jumps back to his original check who is recieving the ball. He is damn FAST! There was also this guys who is a really good dribblers, he did lots of cuts and lay-ups. The most amazing part of all, is that people froze in the air for a rebound or for a shot. They release the ball when they're in their highest point and it's like a slow motion. It's just so pretty to see the ball go in, in that posture. EXCELLENT!

Score keeping was fun! Next time, i would like to come back to volunteer for score keeping! And check out those hot guys on the court, well it's more like their skills because most of them are OLD. LOL. At least 5 years older than me. But watching them play is just like a movie. Better. Becuase i keep track of the scores and the fouls. HEHE.

To sum it up : I HAD A REALLY FUN EXPERIENCE!

~freeze time~



8:23 PM Saturday, June 07, 2008