The stalls are seperated, the white walls may contain writings or graffities or phone number. It may be a disaster or was once a perfect white washed sparkly stall, no matter what it looks, it gives me a comfort. I think it's because it has four walls around it. Some may say it's like closing yourself in, locking yourself from the outside world, but i say when i'm in there, the walls aren't real anymore. My imagination leaps higher than the clouds, my thoughts are wilder than the tornadoes, my actions are bigger than the big blue whales, i am myself, no one can define me.
I love being in the stalls, just sitting their replaying what i have done or said, replaying my regrets. Making decisions, I don't know, maybe it's the only place that i can be along from my parents and friends. The only time and place where i am alone. The walls aren't limiting my thoguhts, infact, they stimulate me. It weird, isolation gives me a chance to think and process. I'm weird. Yes i am.
I remember when you locked me behing the doors, i was crying so badly wanted to be let out. Instead, you left me in there, i gave up since i heard what you have said and ordered. You think i don't know anything, you think i'm stupid, somehow, i'm puzzled by the fact of your standard. I gave up the idea of escape, i then tried to make the best of it, in a stall. I learned to welcome darkness, accept reality, i didn't think learned anything about my mistakes. I don't remember what i did wrong, even till now, i'm so stubborn to listen. When i was in there, i learned to sob quietly and supress all my feelings, i also learned to pray to God at worst times. It works, i never did felt scared like all the stoy books are told, i felt comfortable, peace, quiteness. Yes, this is how it feels to be locked up. WEird but true.
I started to think about everything and anything. It doesn't matter wether i did it with my eyes closed or openned, it doens't make a difference, i can' t see anything. Sometimes, i wonder how do the blind make pictures? what do they think? they've never seent he worlds before, why can't we just make it a perfect picture for them? They don't have to live in the truth, they can't see anything. Whatever they think, they live in it! Ain't this COOL?
When the door opened, you picked me up, and continue to lecture me. Unfortunately, i've already learned how to plug my ears in front of you, my heart is closed. I'm dead towards you. I know that, you know that, so right now, you're accusing me of being like that. I guess it's my choice, but i'm sick of it, tired of everything, confused, i'm a selfish little brat, full of flaws, that stich with an intention that i am still trying to find. Please clear my mind, and save me from this quicksand, i'm sinking faster than you thought, my heart is already sliced open, i don't think there's any pieces left for you to break, what i need is a savior to save me from this miry clay. I'm praying, please pray for me too, i need rivival in my heart, in my soul. Please make me alive once again, i'm like a dead ghost roaming in this world, trying to find love, and hope. PLease pray for me.

~what are the effets of isolation?~